Pain

I will never again take my health for granted... especially my eyes. How it is hard to see when one is experiencing an infection in one's eye...in short Sore Eyes.

I thought that having this infection is just a simple sickness that will last up to 7 days only, but I was wrong, my eye has been throbbing, itching, and is so sore for the past 2 weeks and the doctor said it might even extend until 1 more week. I am having a hard time doing my daily chores and I even have to stop reading my fave book because it makes my other eye work twice that it should be doing.

I also have to wear shades whenever I go out to conceal my sickness so that I will not scare people... and how hard it is to walk around in shades at night. I can't even appreciate what I am eating because I can't see clearly.... hay!

I will just have to wait another week or two and suffer... endure this pain. :(

Ouch!

My Alone Time

Do not get me wrong with my title.... I love spending my time with my kids....I love being with them 24/7. I am always secure because my kids are always with me. But.... like any other normal person, I also need alone time .... time away from my kids to re-energize my batteries. Somehow being with two very super duper active kids can sap away all my energy...

Alone time doesn't mean that I will be all alone by myself.... I do have that moments at home, a quick bath, a few minutes reading a good book, a cup of tea while writing on my planner and especially My early morning date with the Lord (daily Home Retreat). But, there are times that I also need someone to talk to - friends !

I am excited because once again I will be seeing my college friends! Tomorrow will be a fun filled day full of chismisan about life, love and work! It's nice to reminisce the good old days.... sarap ng tawanan!

I cherish this alone time.... I also need to give time for myself to be able to give my full service to my family.

So all mothers out there.... try to have time with yourself.... and especially time alone re-energizing with the Lord!

A Different Classroom

How time flies! Once again, we have finished another year of Homeschooling.... a year full of challenges (both for me and my children), new adventures, learning, fun and frustrations, love and war....

Its summer vacation, but I made a deal with my child that we will not take a break from learning... we still need to learn and discover new things while summer is here... although he's hesitant about it....he still accepted my challenge because he enjoys learning things.

I have posted my reason behind homeschooling in my facebook account, and I will re-post it here to share my thoughts...

_________

Why Homeschooling? (March 26, 2010)

Every time I mention to my friends, relatives or acquaintances that I homeschool my son, they have only one question… Why? And I will always have a hard time explaining the reason why… but after 1 year of fully experiencing how to do it, I can finally share my reason…

It has been a very exciting, excrutiating, tiring, challenging & adventurous year for me & my son and we are still adjusting. One of the parents said, “its not a bed of roses” and I believe its really a thorny one, especially if both of us are not in a very good mood.

But, homeschooling is a very rewarding experience, not only because I see him learning academically, but because I can see that his values are developing in the right way. I love it every time my son calls me “teacher”, it means I am the one forming, molding, & influencing him, and not his peers, media or environment. In this day and age, kids are easily manipulated by the things they see and hear. It is scary to find out that one day, I might not know my own child anymore. Its the games on the PSP, the songs he sees on MTV, and the stars he idolizes on TV and movies that will form his character.

A lot of people asks me why Homeschooling (HS)? Why not enroll my child in those schools which are well-known, the ones which costs so much (expensive = good education)? I am not against these schools, since HS is not for everybody. Its just that since I am a SAHM (stay at home mom), might as well maximize it. The #1 important factor in HS is that 1 parent should be at home, no 8-5 job. I believe its important because HS is a 24/7 thing. A child learns not only during the 3-4 hours of study time, but in every thing we do every day, even the simplest chore…even in brushing our teeth.

How about the grades? Since I have started HS, I realized that grades is just a bonus but not the ultimate goal… what’s important is that my child knows how to apply what he have learned in his life. Grades will not determine our status in life…(look at Bill Gates…) And like what John Calub (a great speaker and mentor), told us, its important to be rich not just financially but in all aspect of our life (emotional, spiritual, relationship, physical).

Going back on HS … its a 2 way street, not only does my child learns, I am too… I have learned how my son’s mind works, why he acts this way and that, and the best thing… I am learning to control my patience (which is really my weakest point)… They say “ang tyaga ko” but come to think of it, “sino pa ba ang magtyatyaga sa anak ko kung hindi ako, ang nanay.”

Socialization… another aspect in HS… they say in a regular school a child will learn how to cope up with different kinds of people, but I believe that when a child has self-confidence, he can be with any kind of people. And I can see that in my children. Whenever we go out to attend parties, gatherings and other events, my children knows how to relate with others not just the kids but adults too.

I have come to fully accept my vocation in life, and that is to serve my family, my kids. I know I have not wasted my degree - it will serve as a good example to my kids, and I can still use it in the future (business). But right now, being there for the 1st 10 years of my kid’s life is more important. I might not be rewarded today, but I know someday, I will make God proud … to teach my kids’ His ways… to teach my kids to love, serve and thank Him … to face Him someday and live w/ Him in everlasting life… & that is the ultimate goal above all!

****

To date, we have been homeschooling for two years and we will still do it in the coming school years. Until when? Grade six? I still don't know... hopefully until I can still do it! (hahaha!)

I have written that last year and I can say until now I am still learning, and now I am also homeschooling my daughter (4 years old). Time spent with them is so precious. I can never turn back time, that is why I am glad I am doing this. They might be in a different classroom, a different set-up, but I believe they will learn so much from our every day life together!

Reviving the Fire

I haven't been writing for such a long long long time and I missed it. After reading my past posts, I realized I need to write again. Not because I have to, but I LOVE to... Writing is my form of releasing emotions - both positive and negative. And its hard to keep it inside, especially if one is a stay at home mom, sometimes, one just need to talk to somebody.... and if that is not possible, my only solution is to write.

For the past 11 weeks, I have begun writing again. But not publicly, its more of a private thing. I have been doing Home Retreat and its a nice feeling writing my prayers to God. And because of that, I missed writing again in my blog.

I want to write again, but I really have to find time to do it. Before I can easily do it since I only have to take care of my son. But now, with two very active kids, home chores plus Homeschooling, I really have to find a way...

I remember, this passion for writing did not start when blogging became a hit... I remember, I started writing when I received my first Diary. (like that was 25 years ago!) I named my Diary "Daisy" cause it rhymes with diary hahaha! I still have that diary in my possession, hidden in the deepest part of my ---- (secret).... and I love reading and rereading it, and I always laugh whenever I am reminded of how "babaw" I was with so many childish experiences.

I want to impart to my children not just the love for writing, but reading as well. That is why I am really trying my best to teach my kids not just to read but to love reading.

I hope through my writing, I am able to impart God's promises and love for us.

I will revive the fire!

Sick at work - literally

Its my first day at work last Monday...and I am sick ...yup.. literally sick. Last friday after being exposed to the pollution (after staying at home for a long time) I got home with colds na. I guess being at home has its advantages...so at work, I can not use the phone as much as I want to make calls na...because the clients might think that they are talking to a guy...hehehe...husky na nga ako, nadagdagan pa ng ubo't sipon so equals husky na ngongo pa...Just imagine how my voice sounded over the phone...hay!!!

It is very hard for me to leave the house every morning, coz everytime I wake up for work, Sam also wakes up. She's used to sleeping beside me kasi, so she knows whenever I have to get out of bed. Before I leave, super kiss ko na siya, and although she's just 7 months, she knows na that I am leaving her to her yaya (super love ko si yaya - I'm blessed to have her!). I feel like crying (OA ba? well mothers out there knows what I am talking about) whenever I walk out from the gate and sees her eyes, sad and longing for me. And as I walk away from the gate, I always look back coz I want to have my last look of her before I leave. I always put my fears aside (for my childrens' safety) and lift it up to God, coz I might not be able to leave if I will always worry.

As for my son Paul, naku, he's the opposite of Sam, he's so HAPPY whenever I leave for work...coz wala ng contrabida sa buhay nya...hahaha...he will not here me shout and say NO!...STOP IT! and ENOUGH!!! hahaha...

I am really excited going back to work...bad trip lang coz of this bug...hay!

I hope by next week I am ok na...

Back To Work

I am suffering from separation anxiety...I thought that babies only suffer from this. I read form one article that the baby will cry and will have a hard time to let go if the baby sees her mother crying and having a hard time too...whew...!!!

I am due to work on the third week of June, I have only less than two weeks to go, and everyday I pray that when the time comes that I have to leave every morning to go to work that Sam will not suffer so much.

Life is hard...really..if not I would not be forced to get back to work...Someday, I want my children to realize and to know that my decision to get back to work is not just for me to be able to give them material things, but for me to be able to give them a good and secured future. My time with them might be lessen ... I might not be able to be with them physically 24/7, but I will always be there for them.

I'm Back

i'm back......







i've been so busy taking care of my sam...







we had a break from our daily routine...we went out...







i missed blogging....







hope i can have time for this again...







soon...







this is it for now...

D DAY!!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!

SAMANTHA IRENE is exactly two weeks today...she was born November 18 of this year. I am really happy because she's healthy and beautiful (got her looks from mommy - - who else..hahaha!!!). Although my OB-GYN told me that he had a problem with my delivery (the situation calls for a CS delivery) but, because he's so good...hay...thank God he heard my prayers...it was a Normal delivery!!!! (next topic na lang ang detailed birthing kwento ko!!!)

I am so happy and I still can not believe that I have two kids na...and I really thank God for the advance Christmas gift...He gave me what I really asked for...a baby girl...and a very healthy and loving child. Eventhough Sam is just two weeks old, I can really tell what kind of person she is...and I am happy that I gave her that name, it fits her personality...

Thank you to all those who prayed for us...

God bless!!!

ANYTIME NOW!!!

Family and friends asks me when is my due date, and I would answer them: ANYTIME NOW!!!

Yes, it’s NOVEMBER and it’s the month for our Baby Sam. I am not sure about the exact date but my instinct tells me that if not next week, probably the latest will be the third week.

Last night, I was experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions (tightening in the uterus - which means that its a sign that my body is preparing for labor) and I kinda panicked coz I still have a lot of things to do in terms of fixing and preparing Baby Sam’s stuff and clothes. So, even though I was not feeling well, I asked hubby to help me clean and put up the crib and pack our things for the hospital. I want to make sure that I am prepared and ready to go when my water bag breaks.

Since this is my second pregnancy, the advantage is, I know now what to expect and to feel if I am really in labor. Unlike last time, I had no idea …clueless…! I am not that nervous but I am kinda worried, I hate the labor part…and the preparation for delivery…its where the nurse will ask a lot of questions while one is experiencing so much pain…as if I can still remember the exact date of my last menstrual period while in labor…

Anyway, I would not be able to post a lot in my blog for the next couple of days coz I am now busy preparing for Baby Sam’s arrival…so, I guess good bye for now…coz when Baby Sam arrives, I will be very busy taking care of Sam…I can probably write here once a month na lang…bahala na…hehehe!!!

Please pray for me and Baby Sam…thank you!!!

By the way, my ob-gyn told me during my weekly check ups (thrice already) that he thinks Baby Sam is a girl! I hope so!!!!

I Am A MEAN Mom & PROUD of it!

Got this from my co-n@wies (hi mys!!!) and I really liked the message here. Now I truly understand why my mom was very "mean" to me when I was growing up. Please read below and you'll understand what the word "mean" really means...

Now that I have a son, I am proud to say that I am a MEAN mom too...someday, Paul will also realize what my true intentions and motives for being one. I LOVE YOU Anak!

................................

Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids!!!)

Batang-Bata Ka Pa

I have been so strict with my son, everyday we go through a lot of shouting and saying no's...I know this is not good, maybe I am being too hard on Paul. I just want him to be a good and obedient boy. I know, I should try to understand that his just growing up and exploring his world. As of now I really can not explain it to him coz I know he will not understand me.

The other day, I was having a hard time sleeping again, so I took my hubby's mp3 and listened to it. I heard this song and I thought to myself that this song really describes what I really want to say to Paul when he grows up. I heard Sugarfree's version of Batang-Bata Ka Pa by APO Hiking Society. Like what I've experience when I was growing up, I had a lot of questions why my parents, especially my mom, was kinda strict. Now that I have a son and soon another baby, I've come to realize that they just want the best for me.

So to my baby Paul...please forgive mommy for being so strict...someday you will also understand. I LOVE YOU!

BATANG-BATA
By: Apo Hiking Society

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang                         
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Yan ang totoo
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang

Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam 
mo na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Buhay ay di ganyan
Tanggapin mo na lang ang katotohanan na ikaw
ay isang musmos lang na wala pang alam
Makinig ka na lang makinig ka na lang

Chorus
Ganyan talaga ang buhay lagi kang nasasabihan
Pagkat ikaw ay bata at wala pang nalalaman
Makinig ka sa 'king payo pagkat musmos ka lamang
At malaman ng maaga ang wasto sa kamalian

Batang-bata ako nalalaman ko 'to
Inamin ko rin na kulang ang aking nalalaman at nauunawaan
Ngunit kahit ganyan ang kinalalagyan alam
ko na may karapatan ang bawat nilalang
Kahit bata pa man kahit bata pa man

Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Imulat ang isipan sa mga kulay ng buhay
Maging tunay na malaya sa katangi-tanging bata

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam mo
na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang
la la la ý
la la la ý (fade)

Please Check this out!

I read from Andrea's blog about this and as much as I want to help them financially, I can only help them by prayers and posting her blog site. Please check this out and hope you can also help even through prayers.

Thanks!

http://momsi.blogspot.com/

God bless!

A Selfless and Noble Person

Photo by: Charlie Magno (www.igma.tv)

I can not help it, but I get teary eyes everytime I see and watch the news regarding the accident and death of GMA 7 News Reporter Dan Campilan. Although I do not know him personally, but watching him everyday deliver news seems like I was able to know and like him.

Of all the reporters of GMA 7, what strikes him most to me was the way he carried himself while delivering his news. I can see how he’s so dedicated in his work. I remember when he covered the news regarding the meningococcemia in Baguio. I thought to myself, how brave he was that he’s not afraid of catching the virus but rather continued researching and providing the people news and updates about the said virus. Anyway, honestly speaking, for me his good looking, coz he looked like “Ariel Rivera”, which is my all time crush…J But seriously speaking, I was really shocked when I heard the news of his death last Saturday morning. Tina Panganiban-Perez, the one who delivered the news, was really devastated coz she was having a hard time saying her lines coz you can hear her struggling not to cry.

I was really touched by what his family did to the driver of the bus. They did not press any charges and forgave him instead. They said that if Dan was still alive, he will also do the same thing too. (According to them Dan was “maawain”) At that moment, I recalled how Pope John Paul II also forgave the person who shoot and tried to kill him.

Eventhough Dan is no longer with us; he continues to inspire others by the story of his life. How his family, friends and colleagues described him as a very responsible and unselfish son and brother, and a very dedicated and sincere journalist. As he died at a very young age, he was able to fulfill his mission here on earth. And I believe that, that what’s matters most. He was able to gratify God in his own simple ways. Through this, I am inspired to live my life not just for myself, but for others as well.

"Isipin mo na lang ang ating samahan at ang pag-ibig ko sa iyo." - Bayang Barrios & Mike Villegas

Really Terrible Two's

"Whether you're home full-time or working full-time, teaching your child to listen to you and behave appropriately is an ongoing and time-consuming process. But unlike working parents, full-time parents must deal with temper tantrums, whining, and all the other naughtiness the kids can think of, on a much more frequent basis." - Christina Baglivi Tinglof (The Stay-at-Home Parent Survival Guide)

Every morning when I wake up, I always try to remind myself that I will try not to get angry and shout so much. I am afraid that it might have a negative effect on baby Sam. But as soon as I finished saying this to myself, Paul will start doing things that really, really piss me off...(excuse me for the term) like playing with his milk, throwing his toys all over the room, playing with insects outside, and a whole lot more. And so goodbye to good mood and hello to stressful day (ma-hihigh blood nanaman ako!!!). Our neighbor will have to suffer and hear me shout and call Paul's name the entire day!

I don't know, but for me, kids nowadays are so much different with kids during my time and especially during my mom's and grandparent's time. I remember when I was growing up, whenever I hear my mom shout or see her stare at me with those scary big eyes, I would stop whatever "kalokohan" I was doing. When my mom calls my name, my knees would start to shake and my whole body would get so weak from fear. But I am wondering, why does my son isn't acting that way with me? When I start to call his name and stare at him...there's no effect! He'll even do it again so as to really make me mad, as if he enjoys it!

I also remember when my younger brother, Sean, when he was just two or three years old, he's so behave and quiet. He can play on his own without destroying his toys. He can sit still and be happy and content. But, not with Paul...he can't keep still for even a minute. He's very hyper active, loves to run and jump, throws his toys and destroys his cars, books and even my stuff. Argghh!!!!

I am not sure what's the culprit for this kind of behavior? I think its the milk and the vitamins he's taking, or the foods (especially junk foods) he's eating, the shows he's watching on t.v., or the games he's playing...I really, really do not know!!! Hay!!! Disciplining a child is very hard, and the outcome of it reflects on me...I mean, if Paul grows up to be a "bad boy" it will reflect on what kind of mother am I...or is it just my high expectations not on Paul but on me as a mother? (Ha, I'll have to discuss that on a different topic)

I guess I should be thankful! I am blessed with a very healthy and witty child. I should always look on the bright side, and not stress on the things that a normal child does. I guess, my son is just exploring his world and absorbing all the new things he's learning everyday. And I should cherish all this experiences and memories, because when he becomes a teenager and starts his college, we will have less time together.

All I want is for him to grow up and be a very good person, one who's like his dad...a person with a golden heart...

SLEEP ... PLEASE!!!

"Sleep is needed to regenerate certain parts of the body, especially the brain, so that it may continue to function optimally. After periods of extended wakefulness or reduced sleep neurons may begin to malfunction, visibly affecting a person's behavior." -Sarah Ledoux-

I haven't been posting anything in my blog for the past few days and I blame it on lack of sleep. As what Ms. Sarah Ledoux said, lack of sleep means the brain won't function well, so I am having a hard time composing an entry here...hahaha!!!

As I have mentioned from my previous post,since I am in my third trimester (pregnancy), its difficult for me nowadays to get some quality sleep, not just because I am having a hard time looking for a comfortable position due to my bump, but also I have to visit the loo every two or three hours (in the middle of the night). Last week was the worst one, not just because of the typhoon and the blackout, but because Paul got sick too. He's fever got worse because I can not open the aircon to cool him down, I had to make sure that he gets enough cool air by fanning him until 4am (that's the time our light came back!)...

Its really hard to get a good night sleep when you have kids, you will have to sacrifice a lot in order that the children get their good night sleep...that's our (moms) job! I haven't been a deep sleeper ever since, I am easily awake by sounds & movements. "Ika nga", hindi ako mantika kung matulog. So until now, its hard for me to go back to sleep when I am awakened in the middle of the night.

Now I realized that I should have not taken sleep for granted when I was still single. I have abused my body by not sleeping early due to some "important" stuff like talking on the phone, surfing the internet, working late, watching t.v., listening to the radio, reading a very good book, etc....I've come to realized that these things that were important to me before, is not important to me right now...because what is important to me is SLEEP!!! hahaha!!!

So all you single ladies (and men) out there, you have still so much time to sleep. Do not take it for granted...as I have watched the other day at ANC channel, a doctor (sorry i wasn't able to get her name) said that 3 days without sleep will make you pay for it, she calls it "sleep debt". So if you still have the opportunity, grab it and don't waste your time on things that you think are important, because our health is much more important than other things, because how can we enjoy "these things" if we are not healthy.

I guess my body is preparing me right now for more (future) sleepness nights, because when Sam arrives, I am sure, I will not be able to say the word sleep!!!!

10 Great Things About Having A Baby!

Got this article from "Im Pregnant" Magazine (Oct. Nov. Dec. '05 Issue)...

1 YOU'RE EXTRA SPECIAL
As soon as you announce you're pregnant you are the center of attention.
Even complete strangers want to touch your bump!

2 TOGETHER FOREVER...
Many couples find that having a baby improves their relationship.

3 TAKE IT EASY
Pregnancy is a great excuse for putting your feet up and watching
episodes of Friends.

4 TALKING SHOP
It's great fun planning what to buy for your new arrival.

5 SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!
You can spend lots of money - without feeling guilty!

6 MUM'S THE WORD
Having a baby can bring you closer to your own mum.

7 FANTASTIC FUN
Just think how great it will be being able to act like a kid again.

8 NEW FRIENDS
Pregnancy is often a time when you make new friends who will
completely understand your hopes and fears.

9 WHEN TWO BECOME THREE
Having your very won family is a wonderful feeling.

10 CUDDLE UP!
Nothing can beat having a cuddle with your baby.



But although there are "10 great things" ...there are also a few not so good things...

As soon as I entered my third trimester, I have not been sleeping very well ...(actually ever since I gave birth to Paul...hehehe!!!)..its my bump..its getting bigger and bigger everyday...and every turn I make, it seems that I can't find a comfortable side...I read in pregnancy magazines and sites (storknet.com) "Sleeping on your back can put too much pressure on your back and compress important blood vessels" and "With a big belly, there is now no way to sleep on your tummy and it gets painful to lie on your back, putting all the weight of your belly on your back." and, so I have to lie on my left side, with lots of pillow between my legs and under my tummy (thanks ninang carrie, im using Paul's Lightning McQueen pillow).

And when I am able to find a good position, I am awakend by my need to pee in the middle of the night, not just once but every two or three hours...ha? And before I knew it, its 6am...I have to get up and say good bye to hubby...and eventhough I can go back to bed, it will be very hard again...haY!

What's more? Heartburn; indigestion; achy back, legs and feet (cramps); nasal congestion; shortness of breath; abdominal aches and itches; mild swelling of face, feet and hands....that's just to name a few...hahaha!!!!

Waiting is another story, since I am in my 3rd trim, I am really excited and can't wait to see Sam...I can't wait to get this over with..hahaha...the waiting is killing me! More or less 10 weeks to go, hay...! I am a bit scared...I hope that I will have an easy delivery, just like when I gave birth to Paul.

Thirst For Serving You

Last Saturday, I had to wake up very early (as in 4:30am) coz my hubby had to be at work by 6am. While preparing breakfast for him, I also ate a few bites coz baby Sam was a little bit complaining :). But my biggest mistake was to eat a few spoonful of ice cream… yup, you read it right, ICE CREAM @ 5am…BIG MISTAKE!!! Not because my stomach ached, but because I wasn’t able to go back to sleep as much as I wanted to.

So, still dark outside at 5:30am, Paul was still sleeping, and still I can’t sleep. I took the time to read a few chapters of the bible and said my morning prayers…and after I listened to some praise and worship music. Listening to it made me reminisce the days when I was still very busy serving the Lord through our Catholic community (God Loves Prayer Community - GLPC). As the memories came back, I became a little bit sad, sad because I miss it terribly.

Before Sanny and I got married, I was very active in GLPC, as I’ve mentioned from my previous post (Writer’s Block), I was not only serving the music ministry, but I was also serving the liturgy and the outreach program in Molino, Cavite. When I gave birth to Paul, all of those activities were gone…because I decided to be “hands on” in taking care of Paul, so I decided to sacrifice my time serving the Lord.

What do I miss most? Of course…singing!!! But it’s not just about singing…serving is the reason why I am doing it. It‘s my way of showing my gratitude…of thanking the Lord for all the blessings and the talents He has given me. Serving has this kind of satisfying effect, a feeling of happiness, knowing I was able to share God to other people. It’s also my way of sacrificing and going out of my way to help and serve other people.

But I believe that although I am not active in our community, God gave me another opportunity to serve, and that is my family. The biggest responsibility that God ever gave me: To serve my husband, my son and my child inside my womb. It is not an easy task, unlike the one I did in GLPC, coz after our prayer meetings, my service is finished, but with my family, it’s a 24/7 kind of job. Like any other service, I do need a lot of prayer also, because like I said, it is not an easy task…I need a lot of patience and understanding especially in dealing with my kids…hahaha :) I know it is important to serve my family, especially my children, because I am able to share with them the love of God. I am also happy because I am able to give my whole time, effort and affection to them.

Hay! Enough of this drama… Lesson learned? Never to eat ICE CREAM in the morning…;)

My Celebrity Look A Likes

I got this idea from Faye and I tried it also. Wow, mala-koreana pala ang beauty ko. Hahaha! My mom will be happy about this (she's so addict sa mga koreanovelas!!!)...And I am happy too coz fave korean celebrity ko sila, especially the girl in "Love Story in Harvard"!

Please check it out! (I used my wedding photo here!)





As for my hubby, although I wasn't able to find many celebrities, but guess who is his handsome and famous celeb look-a-like:



Try it out, so much fun...hahaha!!!

www.myheritage.com

God bless!

Easy to Forgive, Hard to Forget

"Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever." - Lord Chesterfield-

As I was about to finish with my prayer time the other night, the last prayer I read was about forgiveness. And as I was about to say the prayer, the people who I have forgiven came to my mind. After saying the prayer, a thought came to me: "Did I really (totally) forgiven those people?" I guess that was the Lord asking me.

It is so much easy to say that we have forgiven those who have caused us so much pain. But can we truly say that we have forgotten the incident, the reason for the misunderstanding, the painful words that were spoken and the mistake of that particular person to us?

I am not perfect, and I confess I have forgiven "them", but at the same time, I am not sure whether I have totally forgotten it. Honestly for me, it is hard to forget the things that caused so much hurt, the painful words that were uttered, and the trust that was destroyed. I do not hold any grudges or harbor any resentments, but when memories of it flashes back, the pain I felt came rushing back as well.

My friend told me that the only time she can totally say that she has forgiven and forgotten, is when there are no more "sumbatan" over whose fault it is, or why it started, or how it happened. As the cliche goes,"Time heals all wounds." I guess it hasn't healed yet...or maybe its just my pride over taking me. For me, another reason might be that there were no closure between the two parties. After the incident, we were not able to talk about it, we just drifted away and thought that we'll just forget the whole incident and stay the same. I confess, I am not good at talking, I am not comfortable with confrontations...I rather keep it all to myself and pray that things will work out.

For now, all I do is pray that I might be able to forget the past, and that I might be able to face "them" if the situation calls for it. And also that the people who I have hurt in the past, will also forgive me.

PRAYER:

"Heavenly Father, bless me with the grace of Forgiveness. Forgive my sins and annoit me with the love to forgive those who hurt me.

Jesus my Saviour, I thnk you for changing my heart to forgive and I am asking this through Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4: 31-32

SAM

September is here and for Filipinos, that means Christmas season! But for me, I am more excited of another thing...and that is giving birth on November.

SAMUEL ISAAC if its a boy...

SAMANTHA IRENE if its a girl...

SAM for short...

Almost seven months have passed but still I can not believe that I am going to be a mom...AGAIN (for the second time)! I still can't believe that I'll be carrying another innocent child in my arms...I still can't believe that I would hear another sweet voice will call me "Mommy"...will be kissing, hugging me and will cuddle close to me every night.

Carrying a child in your womb is not that easy. All the pain and discomfort will come your way and yet you can not do anything, but just to endure it. For the 1st trimester, I did not feel any pain, but I suffered a lot of nausea and vomitting (which I did not experience w/ my 1st pregnancy). Eating (w/c is my fave) was hard to do (can you imagine that???)... On my 2nd trimester, I didn't feel any pain and I'm not suffering from any morning sickness, but my appetite came bcak...hehehe... My tummy was not yet showing, friends and relatives who saw me thought that either I am not pregnant or that I gave birth already. But I can feel that there's life inside of me coz I can feel SAM do the summersault and kick as well.

Now that I am in my 3rd trimester, I am feeling a lot of pain...from my back, hips, my legs and from my "butt area". I can not sit, lie down or stand for a long time. I am not able to sleep the required amount because its hard to find the perfect position with my bump getting bigger and bigger. I am constatly hungry and yet I can not eat so much coz heart burn will surely come my way.

All of these pain are just an icing on the top..."wala pa ang sakit sa panganganak"...hahaha (that's another topic)!!!

All mothers will say that all the pain they suffered and endured are all worth it. As soon as the nurse places the baby in the mother's arm and saw her baby for the very first time, all of the pain and discomfort vanishes from her memory. They say a baby is a blessing, but for a mother, its not just a blessing..its her joy...her passion...her life.

Two more months and I will be able to hold SAM in my arms, breastfeed SAM, cuddle SAM and give SAM all my love.