My Life

Sick at work - literally

2007-06-19T12:19:00.000+08:00

Its my first day at work last Monday...and I am sick ...yup.. literally sick. Last friday after being exposed to the pollution (after staying at home for a long time) I got home with colds na. I guess being at home has its advantages...so at work, I can not use the phone as much as I want to make calls na...because the clients might think that they are talking to a guy...hehehe...husky na nga ako, nadagdagan pa ng ubo't sipon so equals husky na ngongo pa...Just imagine how my voice sounded over the phone...hay!!!

It is very hard for me to leave the house every morning, coz everytime I wake up for work, Sam also wakes up. She's used to sleeping beside me kasi, so she knows whenever I have to get out of bed. Before I leave, super kiss ko na siya, and although she's just 7 months, she knows na that I am leaving her to her yaya (super love ko si yaya - I'm blessed to have her!). I feel like crying (OA ba? well mothers out there knows what I am talking about) whenever I walk out from the gate and sees her eyes, sad and longing for me. And as I walk away from the gate, I always look back coz I want to have my last look of her before I leave. I always put my fears aside (for my childrens' safety) and lift it up to God, coz I might not be able to leave if I will always worry.

As for my son Paul, naku, he's the opposite of Sam, he's so HAPPY whenever I leave for work...coz wala ng contrabida sa buhay nya...hahaha...he will not here me shout and say NO!...STOP IT! and ENOUGH!!! hahaha...

I am really excited going back to work...bad trip lang coz of this bug...hay!

I hope by next week I am ok na...

Back To Work

2007-06-05T14:01:00.000+08:00

I am suffering from separation anxiety...I thought that babies only suffer from this. I read form one article that the baby will cry and will have a hard time to let go if the baby sees her mother crying and having a hard time too...whew...!!!

I am due to work on the third week of June, I have only less than two weeks to go, and everyday I pray that when the time comes that I have to leave every morning to go to work that Sam will not suffer so much.

Life is hard...really..if not I would not be forced to get back to work...Someday, I want my children to realize and to know that my decision to get back to work is not just for me to be able to give them material things, but for me to be able to give them a good and secured future. My time with them might be lessen ... I might not be able to be with them physically 24/7, but I will always be there for them.

I'm Back

2007-05-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

i'm back......

i've been so busy taking care of my sam...

we had a break from our daily routine...we went out...

i missed blogging....

hope i can have time for this again...

soon...

this is it for now...

D DAY!!!

2006-12-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

IT'S A GIRL!!!

SAMANTHA IRENE is exactly two weeks today...she was born November 18 of this year. I am really happy because she's healthy and beautiful (got her looks from mommy - - who else..hahaha!!!). Although my OB-GYN told me that he had a problem with my delivery (the situation calls for a CS delivery) but, because he's so good...hay...thank God he heard my prayers...it was a Normal delivery!!!! (next topic na lang ang detailed birthing kwento ko!!!)

I am so happy and I still can not believe that I have two kids na...and I really thank God for the advance Christmas gift...He gave me what I really asked for...a baby girl...and a very healthy and loving child. Eventhough Sam is just two weeks old, I can really tell what kind of person she is...and I am happy that I gave her that name, it fits her personality...

Thank you to all those who prayed for us...

God bless!!!

ANYTIME NOW!!!

2006-11-06T14:02:00.000+08:00

Family and friends asks me when is my due date, and I would answer them: ANYTIME NOW!!!

Yes, it’s NOVEMBER and it’s the month for our Baby Sam. I am not sure about the exact date but my instinct tells me that if not next week, probably the latest will be the third week.

Last night, I was experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions (tightening in the uterus - which means that its a sign that my body is preparing for labor) and I kinda panicked coz I still have a lot of things to do in terms of fixing and preparing Baby Sam’s stuff and clothes. So, even though I was not feeling well, I asked hubby to help me clean and put up the crib and pack our things for the hospital. I want to make sure that I am prepared and ready to go when my water bag breaks.

Since this is my second pregnancy, the advantage is, I know now what to expect and to feel if I am really in labor. Unlike last time, I had no idea …clueless…! I am not that nervous but I am kinda worried, I hate the labor part…and the preparation for delivery…its where the nurse will ask a lot of questions while one is experiencing so much pain…as if I can still remember the exact date of my last menstrual period while in labor…

Anyway, I would not be able to post a lot in my blog for the next couple of days coz I am now busy preparing for Baby Sam’s arrival…so, I guess good bye for now…coz when Baby Sam arrives, I will be very busy taking care of Sam…I can probably write here once a month na lang…bahala na…hehehe!!!

Please pray for me and Baby Sam…thank you!!!

By the way, my ob-gyn told me during my weekly check ups (thrice already) that he thinks Baby Sam is a girl! I hope so!!!!

I Am A MEAN Mom & PROUD of it!

2006-10-24T15:01:00.000+08:00

Got this from my co-n@wies (hi mys!!!) and I really liked the message here. Now I truly understand why my mom was very "mean" to me when I was growing up. Please read below and you'll understand what the word "mean" really means...

Now that I have a son, I am proud to say that I am a MEAN mom too...someday, Paul will also realize what my true intentions and motives for being one. I LOVE YOU Anak!

................................

Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids!!!)

Batang-Bata Ka Pa

2006-10-19T15:35:00.000+08:00

I have been so strict with my son, everyday we go through a lot of shouting and saying no's...I know this is not good, maybe I am being too hard on Paul. I just want him to be a good and obedient boy. I know, I should try to understand that his just growing up and exploring his world. As of now I really can not explain it to him coz I know he will not understand me.

The other day, I was having a hard time sleeping again, so I took my hubby's mp3 and listened to it. I heard this song and I thought to myself that this song really describes what I really want to say to Paul when he grows up. I heard Sugarfree's version of Batang-Bata Ka Pa by APO Hiking Society. Like what I've experience when I was growing up, I had a lot of questions why my parents, especially my mom, was kinda strict. Now that I have a son and soon another baby, I've come to realize that they just want the best for me.

So to my baby Paul...please forgive mommy for being so strict...someday you will also understand. I LOVE YOU!


BATANG-BATA
By: Apo Hiking Society

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang                         
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Yan ang totoo
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang

Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam 
mo na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Buhay ay di ganyan
Tanggapin mo na lang ang katotohanan na ikaw
ay isang musmos lang na wala pang alam
Makinig ka na lang makinig ka na lang

Chorus
Ganyan talaga ang buhay lagi kang nasasabihan
Pagkat ikaw ay bata at wala pang nalalaman
Makinig ka sa 'king payo pagkat musmos ka lamang
At malaman ng maaga ang wasto sa kamalian

Batang-bata ako nalalaman ko 'to
Inamin ko rin na kulang ang aking nalalaman at nauunawaan
Ngunit kahit ganyan ang kinalalagyan alam
ko na may karapatan ang bawat nilalang
Kahit bata pa man kahit bata pa man

Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Imulat ang isipan sa mga kulay ng buhay
Maging tunay na malaya sa katangi-tanging bata

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam mo
na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang
la la la ý
la la la ý (fade)

Please Check this out!

2006-10-16T15:50:00.000+08:00

I read from Andrea's blog about this and as much as I want to help them financially, I can only help them by prayers and posting her blog site. Please check this out and hope you can also help even through prayers.

Thanks!

http://momsi.blogspot.com/

God bless!

A Selfless and Noble Person

2006-10-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

Photo by: Charlie Magno (www.igma.tv)

I can not help it, but I get teary eyes everytime I see and watch the news regarding the accident and death of GMA 7 News Reporter Dan Campilan. Although I do not know him personally, but watching him everyday deliver news seems like I was able to know and like him.

Of all the reporters of GMA 7, what strikes him most to me was the way he carried himself while delivering his news. I can see how he’s so dedicated in his work. I remember when he covered the news regarding the meningococcemia in Baguio. I thought to myself, how brave he was that he’s not afraid of catching the virus but rather continued researching and providing the people news and updates about the said virus. Anyway, honestly speaking, for me his good looking, coz he looked like “Ariel Rivera”, which is my all time crush…J But seriously speaking, I was really shocked when I heard the news of his death last Saturday morning. Tina Panganiban-Perez, the one who delivered the news, was really devastated coz she was having a hard time saying her lines coz you can hear her struggling not to cry.

I was really touched by what his family did to the driver of the bus. They did not press any charges and forgave him instead. They said that if Dan was still alive, he will also do the same thing too. (According to them Dan was “maawain”) At that moment, I recalled how Pope John Paul II also forgave the person who shoot and tried to kill him.

Eventhough Dan is no longer with us; he continues to inspire others by the story of his life. How his family, friends and colleagues described him as a very responsible and unselfish son and brother, and a very dedicated and sincere journalist. As he died at a very young age, he was able to fulfill his mission here on earth. And I believe that, that what’s matters most. He was able to gratify God in his own simple ways. Through this, I am inspired to live my life not just for myself, but for others as well.

"Isipin mo na lang ang ating samahan at ang pag-ibig ko sa iyo." - Bayang Barrios & Mike Villegas

Really Terrible Two's

2006-10-09T14:52:00.000+08:00

"Whether you're home full-time or working full-time, teaching your child to listen to you and behave appropriately is an ongoing and time-consuming process. But unlike working parents, full-time parents must deal with temper tantrums, whining, and all the other naughtiness the kids can think of, on a much more frequent basis." - Christina Baglivi Tinglof (The Stay-at-Home Parent Survival Guide)

Every morning when I wake up, I always try to remind myself that I will try not to get angry and shout so much. I am afraid that it might have a negative effect on baby Sam. But as soon as I finished saying this to myself, Paul will start doing things that really, really piss me off...(excuse me for the term) like playing with his milk, throwing his toys all over the room, playing with insects outside, and a whole lot more. And so goodbye to good mood and hello to stressful day (ma-hihigh blood nanaman ako!!!). Our neighbor will have to suffer and hear me shout and call Paul's name the entire day!

I don't know, but for me, kids nowadays are so much different with kids during my time and especially during my mom's and grandparent's time. I remember when I was growing up, whenever I hear my mom shout or see her stare at me with those scary big eyes, I would stop whatever "kalokohan" I was doing. When my mom calls my name, my knees would start to shake and my whole body would get so weak from fear. But I am wondering, why does my son isn't acting that way with me? When I start to call his name and stare at him...there's no effect! He'll even do it again so as to really make me mad, as if he enjoys it!

I also remember when my younger brother, Sean, when he was just two or three years old, he's so behave and quiet. He can play on his own without destroying his toys. He can sit still and be happy and content. But, not with Paul...he can't keep still for even a minute. He's very hyper active, loves to run and jump, throws his toys and destroys his cars, books and even my stuff. Argghh!!!!

I am not sure what's the culprit for this kind of behavior? I think its the milk and the vitamins he's taking, or the foods (especially junk foods) he's eating, the shows he's watching on t.v., or the games he's playing...I really, really do not know!!! Hay!!! Disciplining a child is very hard, and the outcome of it reflects on me...I mean, if Paul grows up to be a "bad boy" it will reflect on what kind of mother am I...or is it just my high expectations not on Paul but on me as a mother? (Ha, I'll have to discuss that on a different topic)

I guess I should be thankful! I am blessed with a very healthy and witty child. I should always look on the bright side, and not stress on the things that a normal child does. I guess, my son is just exploring his world and absorbing all the new things he's learning everyday. And I should cherish all this experiences and memories, because when he becomes a teenager and starts his college, we will have less time together.

All I want is for him to grow up and be a very good person, one who's like his dad...a person with a golden heart...

SLEEP ... PLEASE!!!

2006-10-02T16:16:00.000+08:00

"Sleep is needed to regenerate certain parts of the body, especially the brain, so that it may continue to function optimally. After periods of extended wakefulness or reduced sleep neurons may begin to malfunction, visibly affecting a person's behavior." -Sarah Ledoux-

I haven't been posting anything in my blog for the past few days and I blame it on lack of sleep. As what Ms. Sarah Ledoux said, lack of sleep means the brain won't function well, so I am having a hard time composing an entry here...hahaha!!!

As I have mentioned from my previous post,since I am in my third trimester (pregnancy), its difficult for me nowadays to get some quality sleep, not just because I am having a hard time looking for a comfortable position due to my bump, but also I have to visit the loo every two or three hours (in the middle of the night). Last week was the worst one, not just because of the typhoon and the blackout, but because Paul got sick too. He's fever got worse because I can not open the aircon to cool him down, I had to make sure that he gets enough cool air by fanning him until 4am (that's the time our light came back!)...

Its really hard to get a good night sleep when you have kids, you will have to sacrifice a lot in order that the children get their good night sleep...that's our (moms) job! I haven't been a deep sleeper ever since, I am easily awake by sounds & movements. "Ika nga", hindi ako mantika kung matulog. So until now, its hard for me to go back to sleep when I am awakened in the middle of the night.

Now I realized that I should have not taken sleep for granted when I was still single. I have abused my body by not sleeping early due to some "important" stuff like talking on the phone, surfing the internet, working late, watching t.v., listening to the radio, reading a very good book, etc....I've come to realized that these things that were important to me before, is not important to me right now...because what is important to me is SLEEP!!! hahaha!!!

So all you single ladies (and men) out there, you have still so much time to sleep. Do not take it for granted...as I have watched the other day at ANC channel, a doctor (sorry i wasn't able to get her name) said that 3 days without sleep will make you pay for it, she calls it "sleep debt". So if you still have the opportunity, grab it and don't waste your time on things that you think are important, because our health is much more important than other things, because how can we enjoy "these things" if we are not healthy.

I guess my body is preparing me right now for more (future) sleepness nights, because when Sam arrives, I am sure, I will not be able to say the word sleep!!!!

10 Great Things About Having A Baby!

2006-09-22T18:17:00.000+08:00

Got this article from "Im Pregnant" Magazine (Oct. Nov. Dec. '05 Issue)...

1 YOU'RE EXTRA SPECIAL
As soon as you announce you're pregnant you are the center of attention.
Even complete strangers want to touch your bump!

2 TOGETHER FOREVER...
Many couples find that having a baby improves their relationship.

3 TAKE IT EASY
Pregnancy is a great excuse for putting your feet up and watching
episodes of Friends.

4 TALKING SHOP
It's great fun planning what to buy for your new arrival.

5 SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!
You can spend lots of money - without feeling guilty!

6 MUM'S THE WORD
Having a baby can bring you closer to your own mum.

7 FANTASTIC FUN
Just think how great it will be being able to act like a kid again.

8 NEW FRIENDS
Pregnancy is often a time when you make new friends who will
completely understand your hopes and fears.

9 WHEN TWO BECOME THREE
Having your very won family is a wonderful feeling.

10 CUDDLE UP!
Nothing can beat having a cuddle with your baby.

But although there are "10 great things" ...there are also a few not so good things...

As soon as I entered my third trimester, I have not been sleeping very well ...(actually ever since I gave birth to Paul...hehehe!!!)..its my bump..its getting bigger and bigger everyday...and every turn I make, it seems that I can't find a comfortable side...I read in pregnancy magazines and sites (storknet.com) "Sleeping on your back can put too much pressure on your back and compress important blood vessels" and "With a big belly, there is now no way to sleep on your tummy and it gets painful to lie on your back, putting all the weight of your belly on your back." and, so I have to lie on my left side, with lots of pillow between my legs and under my tummy (thanks ninang carrie, im using Paul's Lightning McQueen pillow).

And when I am able to find a good position, I am awakend by my need to pee in the middle of the night, not just once but every two or three hours...ha? And before I knew it, its 6am...I have to get up and say good bye to hubby...and eventhough I can go back to bed, it will be very hard again...haY!

What's more? Heartburn; indigestion; achy back, legs and feet (cramps); nasal congestion; shortness of breath; abdominal aches and itches; mild swelling of face, feet and hands....that's just to name a few...hahaha!!!!

Waiting is another story, since I am in my 3rd trim, I am really excited and can't wait to see Sam...I can't wait to get this over with..hahaha...the waiting is killing me! More or less 10 weeks to go, hay...! I am a bit scared...I hope that I will have an easy delivery, just like when I gave birth to Paul.

Thirst For Serving You

2006-09-21T15:34:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, I had to wake up very early (as in 4:30am) coz my hubby had to be at work by 6am. While preparing breakfast for him, I also ate a few bites coz baby Sam was a little bit complaining :). But my biggest mistake was to eat a few spoonful of ice cream… yup, you read it right, ICE CREAM @ 5am…BIG MISTAKE!!! Not because my stomach ached, but because I wasn’t able to go back to sleep as much as I wanted to.

So, still dark outside at 5:30am, Paul was still sleeping, and still I can’t sleep. I took the time to read a few chapters of the bible and said my morning prayers…and after I listened to some praise and worship music. Listening to it made me reminisce the days when I was still very busy serving the Lord through our Catholic community (God Loves Prayer Community - GLPC). As the memories came back, I became a little bit sad, sad because I miss it terribly.

Before Sanny and I got married, I was very active in GLPC, as I’ve mentioned from my previous post (Writer’s Block), I was not only serving the music ministry, but I was also serving the liturgy and the outreach program in Molino, Cavite. When I gave birth to Paul, all of those activities were gone…because I decided to be “hands on” in taking care of Paul, so I decided to sacrifice my time serving the Lord.

What do I miss most? Of course…singing!!! But it’s not just about singing…serving is the reason why I am doing it. It‘s my way of showing my gratitude…of thanking the Lord for all the blessings and the talents He has given me. Serving has this kind of satisfying effect, a feeling of happiness, knowing I was able to share God to other people. It’s also my way of sacrificing and going out of my way to help and serve other people.

But I believe that although I am not active in our community, God gave me another opportunity to serve, and that is my family. The biggest responsibility that God ever gave me: To serve my husband, my son and my child inside my womb. It is not an easy task, unlike the one I did in GLPC, coz after our prayer meetings, my service is finished, but with my family, it’s a 24/7 kind of job. Like any other service, I do need a lot of prayer also, because like I said, it is not an easy task…I need a lot of patience and understanding especially in dealing with my kids…hahaha :) I know it is important to serve my family, especially my children, because I am able to share with them the love of God. I am also happy because I am able to give my whole time, effort and affection to them.

Hay! Enough of this drama… Lesson learned? Never to eat ICE CREAM in the morning…;)

My Celebrity Look A Likes

2006-09-14T19:15:00.000+08:00

I got this idea from Faye and I tried it also. Wow, mala-koreana pala ang beauty ko. Hahaha! My mom will be happy about this (she's so addict sa mga koreanovelas!!!)...And I am happy too coz fave korean celebrity ko sila, especially the girl in "Love Story in Harvard"!

Please check it out! (I used my wedding photo here!)

As for my hubby, although I wasn't able to find many celebrities, but guess who is his handsome and famous celeb look-a-like:

Try it out, so much fun...hahaha!!!

www.myheritage.com

God bless!

Easy to Forgive, Hard to Forget

2006-09-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

"Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever." - Lord Chesterfield-

As I was about to finish with my prayer time the other night, the last prayer I read was about forgiveness. And as I was about to say the prayer, the people who I have forgiven came to my mind. After saying the prayer, a thought came to me: "Did I really (totally) forgiven those people?" I guess that was the Lord asking me.

It is so much easy to say that we have forgiven those who have caused us so much pain. But can we truly say that we have forgotten the incident, the reason for the misunderstanding, the painful words that were spoken and the mistake of that particular person to us?

I am not perfect, and I confess I have forgiven "them", but at the same time, I am not sure whether I have totally forgotten it. Honestly for me, it is hard to forget the things that caused so much hurt, the painful words that were uttered, and the trust that was destroyed. I do not hold any grudges or harbor any resentments, but when memories of it flashes back, the pain I felt came rushing back as well.

My friend told me that the only time she can totally say that she has forgiven and forgotten, is when there are no more "sumbatan" over whose fault it is, or why it started, or how it happened. As the cliche goes,"Time heals all wounds." I guess it hasn't healed yet...or maybe its just my pride over taking me. For me, another reason might be that there were no closure between the two parties. After the incident, we were not able to talk about it, we just drifted away and thought that we'll just forget the whole incident and stay the same. I confess, I am not good at talking, I am not comfortable with confrontations...I rather keep it all to myself and pray that things will work out.

For now, all I do is pray that I might be able to forget the past, and that I might be able to face "them" if the situation calls for it. And also that the people who I have hurt in the past, will also forgive me.

PRAYER:

"Heavenly Father, bless me with the grace of Forgiveness. Forgive my sins and annoit me with the love to forgive those who hurt me.

Jesus my Saviour, I thnk you for changing my heart to forgive and I am asking this through Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4: 31-32

SAM

2006-09-05T15:03:00.000+08:00

September is here and for Filipinos, that means Christmas season! But for me, I am more excited of another thing...and that is giving birth on November.

SAMUEL ISAAC if its a boy...

SAMANTHA IRENE if its a girl...

SAM for short...

Almost seven months have passed but still I can not believe that I am going to be a mom...AGAIN (for the second time)! I still can't believe that I'll be carrying another innocent child in my arms...I still can't believe that I would hear another sweet voice will call me "Mommy"...will be kissing, hugging me and will cuddle close to me every night.

Carrying a child in your womb is not that easy. All the pain and discomfort will come your way and yet you can not do anything, but just to endure it. For the 1st trimester, I did not feel any pain, but I suffered a lot of nausea and vomitting (which I did not experience w/ my 1st pregnancy). Eating (w/c is my fave) was hard to do (can you imagine that???)... On my 2nd trimester, I didn't feel any pain and I'm not suffering from any morning sickness, but my appetite came bcak...hehehe... My tummy was not yet showing, friends and relatives who saw me thought that either I am not pregnant or that I gave birth already. But I can feel that there's life inside of me coz I can feel SAM do the summersault and kick as well.

Now that I am in my 3rd trimester, I am feeling a lot of pain...from my back, hips, my legs and from my "butt area". I can not sit, lie down or stand for a long time. I am not able to sleep the required amount because its hard to find the perfect position with my bump getting bigger and bigger. I am constatly hungry and yet I can not eat so much coz heart burn will surely come my way.

All of these pain are just an icing on the top..."wala pa ang sakit sa panganganak"...hahaha (that's another topic)!!!

All mothers will say that all the pain they suffered and endured are all worth it. As soon as the nurse places the baby in the mother's arm and saw her baby for the very first time, all of the pain and discomfort vanishes from her memory. They say a baby is a blessing, but for a mother, its not just a blessing..its her joy...her passion...her life.

Two more months and I will be able to hold SAM in my arms, breastfeed SAM, cuddle SAM and give SAM all my love.

Songs That Refresh My Soul

2006-08-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

Music is my life...its the air that I breathe!!! Whenever I am happy, sad, excited or in whatever mood I am in, there's always a song that would describe how I am feeling. Whenever I feel bad, down or depress, I would calm my soul and revive my spirit by listening to inspirational songs.

There comes a point in our lives that although we are happy with what we have, we still feel down or just sad about something. And in these times, we really need a lot of inspiration, not only from our family and love ones, but also from books and of course from SONGS...songs that would make us light up whenever we are gloomy.

I know its kinda oldies na, but when I read the lyrics of Rico J. Puno's MAY BUKAS PA, I realized that there will be better days and always to think positive...

Two other Worship songs that refreshes me are MY SOUL FINDS REST and GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS. Whenever I have a problem or somethings bothering me, these songs would remind me to lift up all my worries and fears to God, and that He alone will make me strong and at peace...

For those who are feeling down or just sad...I hope these songs would inspire you like it did to me...

God bless!!!

MAY BUKAS PA

Huwag damdamin ang kasawian

May bukas pa sa iyong buhay

Sisikat din ang iyong araw

Ang landas mo ay mag-iilaw

Sa daigdig ang buhay ay ganyan

Mayroong ligaya at lumbay

Maghintay at may nakalaang bukas...

May bukas pa sa iyong buhay

Tutulungan ka ng Diyos na may lalang...

Ang iyong pagdaramdam

Idalangin mo sa Maykapal

Na sa puso mo ay mawalan nang lubusan

Ang iyong pagdaramdam

Idalangin mo sa Maykapal

Na sa puso mo ay mawalan nang lubusan....

MY SOUL FINDS REST

My soul finds rest in God alone,

My salvation comes from Him

He alone is my rock,

He alone is my salvation

My soul finds rest in God alone,

All my hope I place in Him

He alone is my fortress,

He is my deliverer, I'll not be shaken

GOD alone is my rock and I'll not be moved

I'll find shelter in his wings

HE alone is my stregth and shield

How my heart leaps for joy.

I will ever give thanks unto Him

For you have been my refuge, Lord

A strong tower against the foe

My help in times of distress

My joy in times of affliction

For you have heard my cry o God,

Listen to my supplication

From the ends of the earth I cry,

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows

Are you tired of spinning round and round

Wrap up all the shattered dreams of your life

And at the feet of Jesus lay them down.

Give them all, give them all to Jesus,

Shattered dreams wounded hearts and broken toys

Give them all, give them all to Jesus,

And He will turn your sorrows in to joy

He never said you'd only see sunshine

He never said there'd be no rain

He'd only promise a heart full of singing

About the very things that once brought pain

SUNSHINE & RAIN

"No life is useless and no day is vain,

For God has a purpose for sunshine and rain.

All are discouraged and everyone cries,

But we're never alone beneath cloudy skies.

All hearts can break...they're fragile as glass

But God will mend them, and this too shall pass.

Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail,

So follow your dreams whatever the trail,

For no one's a loser who gives it his best,

And you can stand tall above all the rest,

Those who are faithful are noble at heart,

And no life is useless when God has a part.

Be swift to give praise and slow to complain...

God has a purpose for sunshine and rain."

-CLAY HARRISON

28 & I am Proud of It!

2006-08-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

This is sooo looonnnggg overdue...and I am blaming it on the virus that took over our PC!!!

I am proud to say that I am 28 years old already...three more years and I'm out of the calendar...hahaha!!! But so what? I am not ashamed of getting old...I mean all of us are going to that stage anyway. Peole tend to ignore the question when asked about their age...but for me I am not because I am blessed that God still gives me reason to live.

July 27, 2006 was just like an ordinary day for me (waking up, doing some chores and keeping up w/ Paul's kakulitan), but what made it extra ordinary? The people who took the time out to greet me and wish me well on my birthday...

The first person who greeted me? My son Paul (although I had to teach him first...hahaha!!!) then baby Sam - whom I felt inside me moved. Thanks to my hubby Sanny, although he's so tired and sleepy (due to lack of sleep the other night coz he had to take care of Mommy Zeny), he woke up just to greet me with a hug and kiss.

Mapo, thanks for being the first person to text me. My KUYA B, who texted me @ 1am (busy with patients in the emergency room), my "rockistang" kapatid JC, and my younger "pogi" brother SEAN. My sweet cousins: Ate Bubette & Milette (my sis kuno)...My college barkadas: Det (yummy choco cake), She (i love the cologne), Carrie (ever reliable), Michelle (tnx for the lotion), and DYO (surprised gift? hehehe)...My kumares: Dea & Julie... My sister and brother in the Community (GOD LOVES)...Sis Richie & Bro Gener... and my ninong (although I wasn't able to take his call) Bro Rolly...

Of course thanks to my DAD, who welcomed us to his home...My MOM, who emailed me a very touching e-card..and also who sponsored my birthday lunch and dinner!!!

Lastly to GOD ALMIGHTY, who's always there for me and blesses me with so much!

Together Forever ... StickwitU...My LOVE!

2006-08-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

"Love is blind...Marriage is the eye-opener." - Herman de Zwaan

I am always excited whenever I am coordinating a wedding. Not only because of the service fee (hehehe!!!) but because it brings me back to the state of being a bride again. Weddings are a very blissful occassion, people are in a festive mood and I can really feel LOVE is in the AIR. But after the wedding ceremony and reception, what happens?

Marriage is a COMMITMENT & people often forget its meaning especially when they are sssoooo much in love - living in a fairy tale, saved by his prince and will lived happily ever after...That is why the rate of divorce and annulment are so high. They realized after marrying the person that its not so animated anymore and more likely a reality show...hahaha!!!!

Why do some marriages fail? Is love not enough? There are a lot of reasons why marriages ends up in separation...and I think one reason is not knowing your partner enough. I know...you can never really get to know someone unless you live with him/her under one roof. But still, one can discern a person through his/her relationship with their family (especially with their moms), friends, co-workers and less fortunate people...their attitude towards their work, interests, politics, and etc...

I've been married to Sanny for 3 years now and yet there a still things I've discovered that I haven't known before. But, before I married him, I already knew what kind of person is he. Living with him for the past years, I realized and I can truly say that I did not made a mistake of marrying him. Although not perfect, he has some habits which irritates me a lot, still I can say that I am loving him more everyday! I am so much blessed by God because I do not have problems with him like some wives have with their husbands...I am talking about the 3 deadly Bs...babae...bisyo...& barkada!

Putting Christ in the center of our relationship is helping us cope up with the pressures and problems in life. Inspiration to be better parents for our children also make us work harder to stay stronger "TOGETHER...FOREVER".

I know Sanny and I still have a long journey to travel towards the golden wedding anniversary, but between now and 47 years from now, I am definetely going to "STICKWITU"!!!

Together Forver

Rico J. Puno

My love, forever you will always be mine,

Only love, forever you will always be mine,

Faithful love, it's always you, you'll always be

My love, forever you will be my first thing,

Only love, for you and I'll give my everlasting love

I promise you, you'll always be

Chorus:

You and I will never say goodbye,

We'll never even wonder why

You and I will always be together forever (2X)

In love...

My love, forever you will always be mine,

Only love, forever you will always be mine,

Faithful love, it's always you, you'll always be

STICKWITU

Pussycat Dolls

Ohhh.. Oh Oh..
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems as like everybody is breaking up
and throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, your the only one for me

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing.. 'cause your so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you, baby you're with me

So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's why, that's why I say

Its The Hormones!!!

2006-08-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

I haven't entered any post lately and I blame it on Trojan - the virus who sucked out the life of our pc....

Since our pc suffered the virus on the day of my birthday, I had a hard time logging on...not on the net, but logging on to my thoughts...hahaha... Its my so called sickness... "pag natigil, ang hirap simulan ulit..."

But what's worse, is adding this pregnancy hormones to my existing so called sickness...and presto -- KATAM...hehehe...KATAMARAN!!!!

Due to these hormones, not only do I feel so "tamad" but I also feel so miserable. I have a lot of negative thoughts, which even watching tv and sleeping is hard to do. Playing with Paul is even worse, coz I can't stand his "kakulitan"... I end up shouting at him!!! Hay!!! I feel so guilty...bad mommy!!!!

I have still not posted my fun and memorable lunch date with my college dabarkads...still haven't posted a lot...its all written in my notebook...hay...so until this "depress-depressan" disappears...I think this will be all for now...

Rainy Days & Mondays...

2006-07-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

No, I am not pertaining to the song. I hate mondays, but I love rainy days. I love the cool breeze and hearing the sounds of the rain drops. It has a calming effect on me...which leads to the state of "KATAM"...hehehehehe!!!! Yup, you got it right, "KATAMARAN"!!!

I haven't posted any entries lately because of "KATAM". I always love sleeping a bit longer and cozying up with my pillow and blanket everytime rainy days come. I think my mind and body wants to stop functioning and just lie in bed while I take advantage of the cool breeze.

So, so much for snuggling with my pillow.... before my "self" shuts off entirely, I have to move and begin writing again or else, it will be awhile before I will have the energy to think and write again. HAHAHA!!!!

Ha? Barney Nanaman?!?

2006-07-26T15:19:00.000+08:00

While writing this post, I can hear from the other room that my son is watching he's all time fave show...BARNEY !!! Yup, I should confess that my son is so addicted to barney. Hay!! As soon as he wakes up, barney...lunch time, barney...before nap time, barney...at night, baney...hay!!! I've memorized all the songs, movements and dialogues ...hay!!! But it sure is a great way to bribe him to drink his daily dose of vitamins...hehehe!!! It's the only show were you can see him sit and watch actually...other cartoons? nah...after 5 mins. he'll walk away and play na lang.

But Paul learned a lot from watching Barney. He's so sweet and friendly with other kids. I can say, although I have to watch it, I'm not getting tired of it coz all the songs are good hehehe!!! Paul and I had a chance to watch Barney and his friends live at Araneta last year. It's a funny story coz I really didn't planned on watching it. The ticket cost too much for a 2 hour show. And I thought that Paul will not remember it when he's 12 or even 7. When ABS-CBN televised series of barney, even though I'm KAPUSO, I swallowed my pride just so Paul can watch new series of Barney. And everytime the show ended, ABS will promote the show in Araneta, they even had a contest so viewers can win free tickets. Boom! It hit me, Paul can watch it live if I join the contest (eventhough I do not believe in that kind of promo coz I am never lucky in contests/promos/etc...). So every morning before the show starts, I will ready my cel and type the format...and one morning, a call came in and told me I won the contest. I was really shocked! Me? Win? So, to make the long story short...we were able to watch it live. Funny as it may sound, but while watching it w/ Paul, I was teary eyed...not bcoz I saw barney in person (hhmm!!!) but bcoz I saw how happy my son is. Kahit nasa dulo kami ng walang hanggan at super liit si Baney and his friends...kahit na napaka gulo ni Paul ....and kahit na iniwan ko lahat ng baon namin ni Paul sa gate (kasi bawal pala)...its all worth it. Im so happy coz my son finally saw Barney!!!

posted last July 19, 2006 @ my friendster blog

A Time for Everything

2006-07-25T20:53:00.000+08:00

Reading the bible "religiously" is not an easy thing for me to do. Its very hard to concentrate on books and chapters while Paul jumps up and down the bed and keep on asking so many things. So I try to find time reading at night when everybody's asleep...but sometimes due to exhaustion, I find myself asleep too. :)

But everytime I find time to read a few chapters, a verse or two will surely strike an issue, doubts or struggles I am facing that day. God really knows how to make a point!

The other night after reading the book of Ecclesiastes chapters 2 & 3, it really made me reflect a lot about my life. Everything that happened in my life was planned, not by me, BUT by God. When I was a teenager, I've always dreamed of a lot of things for my future...and yet a few just came true. I am not saying I am a bad planner, but that we can not really tell what is in store in our future, not even a "manghuhula" can tell...only God knows. But I am happy because what I really wanted ...God gave it.

When Paul turned two, I've been thinking of getting back to work (as much as I don't want to). I felt that its time for me to help Sanny financially since Paul will start he's pre-school next year (2007). People started asking us when will we have another baby, & I always say "matagal pa...probably 5 or 7 yrs pa coz its not easy caring for a child..." and I think it will give me more time and money to save up for the next child. But God has other plans for me and my family. When I found out that I am pregnant, at first I was kind of worried because a lot of questions came to my mind. Are we financially ready? Will I have enough time for another baby while taking care of Paul, my hubby and myself? But after realizing that God planned it, I became secured coz I believed that He will not bless us with another baby if we are not ready. Also, I never thought that we will move to another place to live. Again, God planned it for us. And when it happened Iwas not shocked anymore coz I know God has reasons and I am happy coz those reasons are for my family's sake.

I am not living in my dream house, I do not own a hi-tech and expensive cellphone, I do not have the latest fashion clothes and fancy accessories, but still I can say that I am happy and contented in what I have right now. The most important blessings are already with me: Sanny, my understanding and loving husband; Paul, my active, clever and handsome son; Sam, my unborn sweet child inside my womb; my family, who's always there to guide me; my friends, who listens and laughs with me; & of course My GOD, who strengthens me and the reason for my living!

"When we have the proper view of God, we discover that real pleasure is found in enjoying whatever we have as gifts from God not in what we accumulate." - Life Application Study Bible (N.I.V.) -

posted last July 17, 2006 @ my friendster blog

What is a Mother?

2006-07-25T20:47:00.000+08:00

Searching on yahoo, I have come across a lot of famous quotes on mothers, and I really would like to share it here so that I can truly say what mothers are feeling, experiencing and hardships in becoming a good one. Like the cliche goes "you can never truly appreciate your own mother until you are one..."

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to
have your heart go walking around outside your body. " -Elizabeth Stone-

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain
they are their own." -Aristotle-

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the
impossible." -Marrion C. Garretty

"Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the
same – and most mothers kiss and scold together." -Buck-

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five
people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." -Tenneva Jordan-

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the
longest." -Irish proverb-
"A mother who is really a mother is never free."
-Honore De Balzac-
posted last July 17, 2006 @ my friendster blog

Looking Forward to....

2006-07-25T16:26:00.000+08:00

It's Monday and five more days to go before I get to see my college barkadas...I miss them so much. Thanks to Carrie, my ever "reliable" best friend...sa walang sawang pag txt brigade mo sa kanila, sa lahat ng efforts mo sa pangungulit sa kanila at sa pakikinig sa aking mga sentimientos...hehehe...I really do pray na lahat kayo makapunta. It's been a lllloooonnngggg time since I had a chance to go out and have some fun with them. If I am correct, the last time was ...uhm? kelan nga ulit yun? hehehe!!!! ah!!! That was last January, the baptism of Det's son, Dylan. Kaya lang di naman tayo complete eh. The last time ata na complete tayo was last 2003 pa ata...bridal shower ko. hehehe...

The first and foremost reason why I am really loking forward to our gimmik (considered gimmik ba ang lunch date? hehehe!) is because its been awhile since I had a chance to go out by myself ...yup...alone at last...its not that hindi ako happy to go out with my hubby Sanny and son Paul, but now I will have time (again!) for myself. Since being a mother, you have to sacrifice a LOT for your family...and time for one's self is the most thing that mothers have to sacrifice. And now that I am pergnant, I am sure it will be hard for me to go out again after giving birth on November.

The second reason is: baby shower....I am happy that my friends are giving me another baby shower...I have my wish list na ..hehehe...pero ok lang kahit ano, basta cute....hehehe...First born always has the advantage of so many things...like baby showers and new clothes, new things and new toys...unlike the second, the third, and so on....So its just fair for my second baby (Sam) to also experience baby showers, new things and not just hand me downs...I like to be fair with my babies...

The third reason: MY BIRTHDAY! Yup, my birthday is fast approaching...I initiated this gimmik coz its my birthday. When I was still single, I always celebrate my birthday with parties...not naman "grandeng" celebration, just a simple dinner @ our house with my friends. My mom always kid me "bakit ako lang sa amin sa family ang mahilig maghanda?" hehehe....I don't know why, but I love to entertain my friends eh. Anyway, since its my 28th birthday, and I can't celebrate it sa house (coz its now hard to entertain guests with a kid in tow...hahaha)...i opted to meet na lang w/ my barkada in Eastwood...(hey paging Sheryl, this time malapit na sa iyo ha).

I am really EXCITED...thanks to my hubby, who will be the "yayo" for Paul...I will have the time...all for myself...alone ... at last...! Mothers out there will surely understand what I am talking about "time for myself"....hehehe!

Hey calling Michelle, Sheryl, Det, Dyo & Tina ...I am looking forward to our lunch date this coming saturday and you know the reasons why!!!

posted last July 17, 2006 @ my friendster blog